Pearl necklaces and curse words

ivanolix: downtothelastbullet: thegoodlannister: littlewoobie116: ivanolix: Can’t stop...

Wed, 16 May 2012 13:02:23 -0400

downtothelastbullet:

thegoodlannister:

littlewoobie116:

ivanolix:

Can’t stop imagining a cracky road trip AU for Game of Thrones, like the Oregon Trail. Everyone fleeing the zombies, y’know, for Dorne. Or something. Total crack.

Brienne’s the dad driving the caravan who’s all “Don’t make me pull this wagon over” when Tyrion and Arya squabble. Catelyn’s the mom constantly making sure that there’s no making-out in front of the children. Sansa falls asleep on Shae’s chest. Gendry just randomly strips and poses. Rickon keeps asking what this “sex” thing is and if it’s as good as walnuts (Catelyn puts a stop to the explanations but Osha gives him a serious nod). Team Dragonstone follows the caravan in a wagon with a mast. Stannis uses his “legit” stamp on everything, including Mel’s breasts when he’s drunk. Hot Pie looks like Hot Pie. They get lost in the Stormlands and Catelyn and Brienne argue over whether to stop and ask for directions. Cersei and Jaime abandon the caravan and it’s lame “No sex in front of the children” rule for a cabin in the woods. Jaqen does a Jack Sparrow on the mast, and discovers that he and Mel are related. Tyrion starts “99 Flagons of Beer on the Wall”…..

And then of course Davos was constantly attempting to row the wagon with the mast (which was also chained to the back of the other caravan that we shall call Team Awesome). This resulted in Team Dragonstone beginning the Westerosi rendition of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” with Melisandre constantly adding in bits about R’hllor.

Jaqen and Melisandre caught up on how “Uncle Bob ~~H’ghar~~” was doing and then Jaime and Cersei caught back up with Cersei pregnant and Jaime contemplating whether or not Cersei, Tyrion and he should dye their hair similar to that of Jaqen’s since everybody was looking for Team Surviving-Lannisters-That-Aren’t-In-Dorne-Or-Named-Tommen. Ros and Melisandre of course tried to get them to do it because redheads are sexy and then Jaime got a little bit jealous of how awesome Jaqen’s hair was as the wind caressed it atop the mast of Team Dragonstone’s wagon.

Arya called Tywin “Uncle Tywin” and Tyrion burst into tears so they moved him, Shae and Sansa to the back of the caravan and since Team Dragonstone was chained to the back they were suddenly happy that the entire time Davos had been adamant about “rowing” the wagon but now they had to “row” the wagon thanks to Tyrion’s tears. When Catelyn heard Arya called Tywin “Uncle” she pulled the wagon over with a screech and was all *Exorcist head twist* to look at Arya who was like “>_> He gave me mutton.” And Tyrion was like, “BUT MUTTON WAS HIS FAVORIIIIIIIIITE” Ayra promptly informs him that Tywin told her that he disliked mutton and also compared her to Cersei. This prompts Cersei to throw her hands up and go on an hour long rant about how life just isn’t fair when it comes to “daddy.”

Tyrion and Sansa are adamant that Shae has healing comfort boobs and this prompts a “whose breasts are better” argument in which Sansa declares Shae the victor “because her breasts fit best in her hands.” But Jaime calls shenanigans because Cersei’s breasts fit best in his hands and Osha declares Ros the victor because, while she has small hands her hands are quick and she can cover more ground.

Rickon just really, really wants walnuts and Gendry just really wants to flex everywhere. He keeps on trying to show off to Arya but Jaqen finally interrupts by explaining to Gendry that “a man must understand when a girl is too young to recognize a man’s sexiness and must wait for a girl to be old enough.” This leads to bro-bonding.

At some point Catelyn chases Jaqen around and “a man is very upset” because “a man was throttled by a trout.” This statement of course prompted Brienne to intimidate Jaqen into a cowering mess that, “no man should ever have to endure” because “a woman is frightful.”

I don’t think they ever reached Dorne…

Oh my god. If I wasn’t in love before, I am now.

My favorite is the Shae/Tyrion/Sansa ot3 in the back of the caravan. *wipes away a tear*

I would just like to take a moment to declare this the best post in the history of the internet forever and ever amen.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mrs. and Mrs. Fuller. Yes we are that awesome. Yes we destroy canon.

onionjulius: blueandbluer: tongue-in-cheek-geek: nprfreshair: ...

Wed, 16 May 2012 12:41:26 -0400

onionjulius:

blueandbluer:

tongue-in-cheek-geek:

nprfreshair:

How Common Is Your Birthday?

(via @stiles)

I think it pretty weird/cool that June 13th is quite a bit rarer than all other June birthdays (except June 31st - hurr hurr).

That’s part of why it was so exciting to see that you and I both have 6/13, tongue-in-cheek!

Boy oh boy do people get busy or what during holiday season.

Well, can’t blame them really. It’s fucking cold outside, we may as well be fucking a lot inside.

hey i have a 6/13 birthday woo!

Photo

Wed, 16 May 2012 12:36:31 -0400

thedailywhat: Heartwarming Tearjerker of the Day: The sheer...

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:58:13 -0400

thedailywhat:

Heartwarming Tearjerker of the Day: The sheer cliffs at the mouth of Sydney Harbor have long been a popular Australian suicide spot. But they’re about to get a lot more deadly — the local man who is credited with talking at least 160 people out of killing themselves since 1964 died this week.

Window-watcher Don Ritchie, known as the Angel of the Gap, could spot the troubled ones from his home across the street; he’d wander down to the cliff-edge and calmly ask, “Can I help you in some way?” More often then not, he could. He’d chat with them a bit, then invite them back to his place for a cup of tea.

“My ambition has always been to just get them away from the edge, to buy them time, to give them the opportunity to reflect and give them the chance to realize that things might look better the next morning,” Ritchie once said. “You just can’t sit there and watch them. You’ve got to try and save them.”

[advocatingprogress]

Photo

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:57:38 -0400

Photo

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:56:57 -0400

Photo

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:41:43 -0400

10 Worst Things Arizona's Racist Sheriff Joe Arpaio Has Done

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:34:55 -0400

political-linguaphile:

Forcing Women To Sleep In Their Own Menstrual Blood: In Arpaio’s jails, “female Latino LEP prisoners have been denied basic sanitary items. In some instances, female Latino LEP prisoners have been forced to remain with sheets or pants soiled from menstruation because of MCSO’s failure to ensure that detention officers provide language assistance in such circumstances.”

Assaulting Pregnant Women: “[A]n MCSO officer stopped a Latina woman – a citizen of the United States and five months pregnant at the time – as she pulled into her driveway. After she exited her car, the officer then insisted that she sit on the hood of the car. When she refused, the officer grabbed her arms, pulled them behind her back, and slammed her, stomach first, into the vehicle three times. He then dragged her to the patrol car and shoved her into the backseat. He left her in the patrol car for approximately 30 minutes without air conditioning. The MCSO officer ultimately issued a citation for failure to provide identification.”

Stalking Latino Women: “In another instance, during a crime suppression operation, two MCSO officers followed a Latina woman, a citizen of the United States, for a quarter of a mile to her home. The officers did not turn on their emergency lights, but insisted that the woman remain in her car when she attempted to exit the car and enter her home. The officers’ stated reasons for approaching the woman was a non-functioning license plate light. When the woman attempted to enter her home, the officers used force to take her to the ground, kneed her in the back, and handcuffed her. The woman was then taken to an MCSO substation, cited for ‘disorderly conduct,’ and returned home. The disorderly conduct citation was subsequently dismissed.”

Criminalizing Being A Latino: “During raids, [Arpaio’s Criminal Enforcement Squad] typically seizes all Latinos present, whether they are listed on the warrant or not. For example, in one raid CES had a search warrant for 67 people, yet 109 people were detained. Fifty-nine people were arrested and 50 held for several hours before they were released. Those detained, but not on the warrant, were seized because they were Latino and present at the time of the raid. No legal justification existed for their detention.”

6. Ignoring Rape: Because of Arpaio’s obsessive focus on “low-level immigration offenses” his officers failed “to adequately respond to reports of sexual violence, including allegations of rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse of girls.” (note* I skipped #5 because ignoring rape is much more gross to me than their listed #5)

And that’s just a few of the many inhumane and disgusting crimes Joe Arpaio has committed against immigrants, and in some cases, U.S. citizens. Click here to read about his widespread use of racial slurs, racial profiling, random and unlawful detention of Latinos, among other atrocities Sheriff Joe Arpaio is responsible for.

wtffanfiction: Fandom: Naruto “…so he could smile at her clit...

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:34:01 -0400

wtffanfiction:

Fandom: Naruto

“…so he could smile at her clit and bid her a good day.”

Communist sex tips:

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:23:17 -0400

socialistscum:

When going down on the bourgeoisie, remember it is okay to eat the rich.

Communist sex tips:

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:21:47 -0400

communistsextips:

If you cook your lover a romantic meal, feed them the heart of a bourgeois restaurant owner.

Communist sex tips:

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:20:25 -0400

communistsextips:

When flirting with a capitalist, make sure they know you own the means of seduction.

MRA

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:12:53 -0400

genderbitch:

Massive Ridiculous Asshole

"The more time you spend thinking about how your body looks, or what you’ve eaten or haven’t eaten,..."

Wed, 16 May 2012 11:11:20 -0400

“The more time you spend thinking about how your body looks, or what you’ve eaten or haven’t eaten, or any of that stuff, the less time and brainspace you have to think about and plan your creative work; notice inequalities and plot revolution; pay attention to what other people need and respond to that; feel your feelings; come up with big visions, schemes and plans; meditate, pray, or otherwise feed your spiritual side; or do any one of a million other things that can help you enact your potential in the world. When you catch yourself going there, think about what else you could be doing with that mental space, and USE IT.”

- Danya Ruttenberg here (via hellyeahscarleteen)

jonhammsome: Mad Men: The Wheel, 113

Wed, 16 May 2012 10:58:27 -0400

jonhammsome:

Mad Men: The Wheel, 113

Photo

Wed, 16 May 2012 10:52:46 -0400

galesofnovember replied to your post: Get this motherfucking finchel away from my… That...

Wed, 16 May 2012 10:49:04 -0400

galesofnovember replied to your post: Get this motherfucking finchel away from my…

That episode made me like Finnchel. I’m so ashamed.

it’s okay we’ll start a support group. i still dislike them but i can understand the appeal.

collegehumor: Dog Pictured on Faculty Page of Yearbook “I don’t...

Wed, 16 May 2012 10:36:43 -0400

collegehumor:

Dog Pictured on Faculty Page of Yearbook

“I don’t have my assignment today. My teacher ate my homework.”

shadowbabies: Cersei would never EVER cry in front of Tyrion NEVER EVER! She despises him enough...

Wed, 16 May 2012 10:18:25 -0400

shadowbabies:

Cersei would never EVER cry in front of Tyrion NEVER EVER! She despises him enough to try to kill him multiple times.

haha too bad that happens in the books.

smh.

downtothelastbullet: aspaciousplace: ASOIAF Challenge: Most...

Wed, 16 May 2012 10:14:41 -0400

downtothelastbullet:

aspaciousplace:

ASOIAF Challenge: Most Moving Scene:

Jaime & Tyrion part ways.

Jaime unlocked the gate, pushed it open, and stepped through. He looked back over his shoulder. “Are you coming?”

“Not with you.” Tyrion stepped through. “Give me the keys and go. I will find Varys on my own.” He cocked his head and stared up at his brother with his mismatched eyes. “Jaime, can you flght left-handed?”

“Rather less well than you,” Jaime said bitterly.

“Good. Then we will be well matched if we should ever meet again. The cripple and the dwarf.”

Jaime handed him the ring of keys. “I gave you the truth. You owe me the same. Did you do it? Did you kill him?”

The question was another knife, twisting in his guts. “Are you sure you want to know?”

Okay I usually don’t post potentially spoilery stuff but… I couldn’t not reblog this. A Storm of Swords gave me the worst fiction hangover in my life and it’s because of this scene.

I mean, goddamnit, you two stupid blond fucks. Just stop it. You are killing me.